Porn Opens up the Conversation

 

“How do you sleep at night?”

 

To be honest I’ve only been asked this question one time in all my years. I remember it well.

I was at the AVN Adult Convention in Las Vegas with my entourage (If you’re in the Porn Biz you always have an entourage). We were partying in the bar lounge at Mandalay Bay, watching the Porn Stars walk to the venue. I struck up a conversation with a couple next to me. Apparently they had just met the night before and this was their first real date. I was pretty drunk. When I drink I become more animated and cuss freely. “Fuck” is my favorite inebriated word. While I’m talking to this new couple in my demonstrative way, waving my arms around and cussing, the dude asks me what I did for a living. “I’m a pornographer” I answered. His face literally drops.  “How do you sleep at night?” he asks. (we’re sitting in a bar in Sin City with a group of porn industry people watching Porn Stars walk by). Hello? Within the same minute of this guys discovery that I’m a dirty pornographer , his new girlfriend is  whispering in my other ear “I love it when guys talk dirty”.

I always thought that was an incredible moment. The only  time I was ever openly judged by someone (at AVN no less), his girlfriend wants to fuck me and she’s validating the whole appeal of  pornography. I’m pretty sure theirs was a short-lived relationship.

Allow me to qualify something.

In all my years in the industry 90% of what I produced was solo nude content. Really not much different than what playboy magazine has done for sixty years except for more explicit vagina shots. I produced very little hard-core lesbian or boy/girl sex. I have my reasons for that explained in another story. However over time I found it easier just to refer to myself as a pornographer. It saved a lot of confusion and questions. Just seemed more honest, especially since most people have different opinions as to what pornography actually is. In addition it always opened up the conversation. People were always amazed and fascinated  and would grill me for specifics.

Fact is: People LOVE talking about sex. I think it disarms people, breaks the ice and makes them relax.  I also think it’s a great angle for guys trying to get laid. Tends to get girls in the mood!

I remember years before I was in porn I was in a new relationship  and very content. My girlfriend had gone out of town and it was the first time we had been apart. I went to a local bar by myself to see a friends band play.  I sat at the bar next to a beautiful girl with big tits.  Early in the  conversation it was understood I had a girlfriend. I wasn’t on the prowl. Once a girl senses you are harmless and not trying to fuck them  – things lighten up (If you’re a single male, go out sometime wearing a wedding ring – see what happens).  It turned into a very candid and open conversation. At some point the conversation steered towards sex.

She ended up telling me about her first sexual experience. It was on a cruise ship with her parents when she was 16 years old. Her parents bought her a massage. The Masseur was a handsome older man. She described in detail about how his hands roamed her body and secretly crept their way to her inside thigh. Eventually he had wandering  fingers and the next thing she knew he was eating her pussy. Retelling the story obviously got her aroused.  She made it clear we should go home together. I reiterated I was trying to be a good new boyfriend. I’ll never forget saying goodbye to her in the parking lot that night. As I walked away she just kept staring at me like “Are you SURE?” I’d never had a girl practically beg me to fuck her.

So guys. Here’s some of my unsolicited dating advice: Ask lots of questions about her. Get her talking about herself. If possible steer the subject to sex (in a clinical, maybe humorous, not-trying-to-fuck-her way) BINGO! You’re in. Well….maybe 🙂